libaong

there's this part of the road on the way home
i remember you started the woooohhh

do you still remember?
we used to ride
almost every night
though there could be a very valid reason
not to ride together.
you could be fetching someone
someone might be waiting for me
we never showed we care

on that spot
where a flower bush once stood
a  hollow not that deep
sent us shouting quietly
you never know
it sends my heart leaping
praying hard we'll do it again tomorrow

it lasted a while
it stopped
i forgot about it
i took another road
no hollows
no flower bushes
no you

i freeze everything
yet the leaping of my heart
is just too strong

the other afternoon
i took a ride we once do together
i took a chance at feeling again
and yes it's still there
the hollow, the bush
the stars, the bench
the noodles, the bike
and my churning stomach
the barbecue, the pain
the love, the friendship.

everything is in place
just as i left them freezing
more than a decade ago

somehow i hate me
somehow i wish we were strong enough

i was afraid
we'd just hurt each other
turn bitter
give up
walk away
i cannot bear that

what if i am wrong all this time?
oh yes, some stupid hopeless coward
i am.