the lady and her flowers

I am wondering

how will it feel

my steadiness,

will it fail?

on the bed is that bunch

adorable, beautiful

with its bow perfectly tied

and the color—vivid white

a thought came.

will a grip

will the scent

give ground?

oh, will that bunch

give me the serenity?

just like the feeling

every time it gives me?

oh heaven, dearly bless me

as i walk down and hold it

may this bouquet be

more than a decor

more than a symbol

but a comfort

but a help.

a feather for tonight

by Debbiegirl Debbie Deb
on Wednesday, July 13, 2011 at 12:02am

 

 

i went with a friend to support another friend on her MRI test tonight.

another feather grows back on my wings.

it seems like feeling guilty was the culprit of misery

amidst the sound effect of the machine and the laughs

i feel better. i feel me in me.

checking my conscience?

i did. she told me this is what i want to do tonight.

i am happy with what i am doing.

no guilt. just the motherly instinct of thinking about her kids

are they asleep?

does Aya have lots of homework?

is Kirah behaving well during bath time?

when i got home, no homework. my little lady is asleep

aya's scores are great! he gave me a hug and a kiss.

i find myself smiling.

actually, my heart is smiling and pumping that happy beat.

and this is life.

he might be a part of it.

but right now, he is not.

just me and my motherly self

and the little wonders of my life.

i could watch

with my eyes
you are my brows

with my feet
you are my toes

with my hands
you are my palm lines

i could enumerate
them all of me
for you

or

i could watch
your eyes
your hands
your back

i could watch
you from afar
until my eyes hurt
until my heart sighs

until im gone.
because you are.

mata...

i am sorry
i don't look at your eyes
not often
if i do
i'd lose it
i'd give in to the welling tears
ever so ready to fall

your presence makes me
feel i'm twenty again
that i have to decide
have to figure out
what love and cowardice
can do to me.

you are me
in an overwhelming way

no, you do not hurt me
you set my spirit in a trance
and you turn back time
i have to fight you and me
and our strength is quite a challenge
to this rusted vigor

so
i am sorry
do not misinterpret
the only way to win this battle
this everyday battle is
i don't look at your eyes
your beautiful eyes.

basaha

on Thursday, July 28, 2011 at 11:07pm

i keep on writing
you keep on reading
not this but my mind
what do you see?

can you really read?
between the lines.
between the letters
between the space bar and the enter keys

i am never covered
you can read me
in my words
in my letters

yet do not concern yourself
with taking a heed
at understanding
what you read

ah. that's what you always are.
...

no title on a monday night.. just 5 minutes to 12 midnight

i have two options

edit

discard

i edit

i post

i remove my post

i never discard

to me there is no garbage

in anything i write

they tell me

how i feel today

how i get on with today

how i survive today

how i wanted tomorrow

so badly

i dream of it

with my eyes open

nah, done with that

i want to get me somewhere

with these words

and a special thanks

to people who never

crosses my time

this particular time

for choosing to go home

and snore the night away

i envy you.

i cannot sleep

i do not wish

to go on with the books right now

libaong

there's this part of the road on the way home
i remember you started the woooohhh

do you still remember?
we used to ride
almost every night
though there could be a very valid reason
not to ride together.
you could be fetching someone
someone might be waiting for me
we never showed we care

on that spot
where a flower bush once stood
a  hollow not that deep
sent us shouting quietly
you never know
it sends my heart leaping
praying hard we'll do it again tomorrow

it lasted a while
it stopped
i forgot about it
i took another road
no hollows
no flower bushes
no you

i freeze everything
yet the leaping of my heart
is just too strong

the other afternoon
i took a ride we once do together
i took a chance at feeling again
and yes it's still there
the hollow, the bush
the stars, the bench
the noodles, the bike
and my churning stomach
the barbecue, the pain
the love, the friendship.

everything is in place
just as i left them freezing
more than a decade ago

somehow i hate me
somehow i wish we were strong enough

i was afraid
we'd just hurt each other
turn bitter
give up
walk away
i cannot bear that

what if i am wrong all this time?
oh yes, some stupid hopeless coward
i am.